Attention Special Moms!
How Do You Care For Yourself While Caring For The Need Of Your Special Child?
Revealed: How One Special Mom BROKE FREE From The Fear And Psychological Trauma That Comes With Caring For Her Special Child Diagnosed With Acquired Traumatic Brain Injury
AND How She’s Helping Other Moms Do The Same.
Dear Special Mom,
If you’ve ever been stigmatized. Traumatized. Or Embarrassed because of your child’s disability… Then I have a message for you.
And in a moment I will show you how you can manage not just your child…
But this time—YOU.
Yes. I’m talking about you remaining in the right frame of mind for this special parenting care.
You see — The society out there has said a lot about managing special kids.
Because, just like every child, they need all the love and support they can get — AND even more.
But on the other hand, there’s this void in you.
You feel you need to have a life of your own.
And I know the emotional trauma you go through daily.
Some of which you can’t share.
And you feel this pain is so much for you to bear.
Maybe you’re heartbroken by the reactions you get from other parents — whose children aren’t experiencing the same pain.
Let’s not even talk of you abandoning your career (or business) to give special attention to your child.
How about the attitude you see from other kids (how they make fun of your child, bully or behave as if your child’s situation is a communicable disease).
Or worse still, how hard you have to try managing your child in public–so you don’t feel embarrassed.
This hurts so much and all these are eating deep into you.
And dealing with actions like this and more are affecting you psychologically as the day goes by.
This means if you’re not careful, this can lead to depression.
Now, that's one key challenge when your child is diagnosed with a disorder.
This could be so frustrating.
Especially when you’re a single mother, left to bear the burden all alone.
I understand all these.
This is because I have a child in a similar situation.
Having said this—let me share my story with you briefly…
My son was 10 years old when diagnosed with a brain injury following a failed appendectomy- simply, he went to take out this appendix and something went wrong and that was how he acquired the brain injury.
This was a child that was totally active…
He loves singing and is also an active sprinter.
Then one fateful day, we discovered he had appendicitis.
And the doctor advised us to do the surgery immediately.
We did this, and the process developed into another advanced health situation which made him go speechless and partially paralyzed.
The painful part was how in a short moment my child went from being healthy to this severe situation.
This was a child that wasn’t born this way.
I mean, the whole thing dawned on me when he couldn’t speak anymore.
But Here’s My Turning Point…
When we went to South Africa. My Son was in the intensive care unit (ICU) for 120 days.
And I had to be with him from 8 am to 8 pm each day.
I didn’t know anyone in South Africa.
So I was told to sit in the ICU so when he wakes up, I’d be the first he sees…
Considering that we were in a strange environment overseas.
Then one day my brother-in-law called.
And he pleaded with me to help him get something in Johannesburg.
On getting there, I moved from store to store searching for what he wanted.
At every point I showed him what I saw, he said to me “this isn’t the color”.
And in the long run, I bought nothing.
Only for me to get to the hospital, then he called back.
He said… What he did to me was intentional, and it is called retail therapy.
He wanted me to take my mind off my son. And that can happen with a walk…
Where I can experience something new.
This came to me as a surprise.
And I tell you… It worked to an extent.
It was the beginning of a new repositioning of the mind for me.
I felt some relief because I finally left my son in bed and came back to meet him—with nothing happening to him.
It then led me to a new mindset —
That I can imagine a normal life away from my son and he will still be fine - by trusting the professionals who were taking care of him and most importantly dealing with my own fear for him
That was how I got over the fear, and began to look at the burden of care especially the psychological aspect from a new perspective the perceived burden I thought was placed on me by my son.
Then my world began to make meaning again, gradually… I say gradually because I am still on that journey. You would want to ask, If you are still on the journey, why are you sharing and helping? It is I believe that success is in the process not just at the destination, I have received help and kindness from strangers, I have been helped by mothers whose children were born with different ‘abilities’, irrespective of their own challenges, became new again.
I began exploring other knowledge and information on how to handle this situation and still live a normal life.
I got to discover several approaches on how I can reposition my mind — even while caring for my child. I began to self-educate, I trained under Martin Selgman (University of Pennsylvania), Dr Sarah McKay (Neuroscience Academy, Australia), Temi Ajibewa ( The Electric Coach- Nigeria) and Prof. Akin Merino (Jars Education Institute- California) I am currently rounding up with Prof Merino as a Trauma Informed Professional hence reDiscoveringU Therapeutics Coaching Program. This is helping me to take you through a transformational journey, leading you from your pain point (loss of personal dream, financial stress, physical health issues, depression, anxiety, fear etc) to your desired place ( fulfillment, resilience, hope, joy, freedom and re-connection with your beautiful self and your social community). I am particular about who you become after this immersion in my coaching framework
And this has been helping me for 6 years now.
Now, I want to share with you these tried and proven methods of caring for a special child and still live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
I understand this feeling and how living with it could drain you…
This is because I understand what you and your child are going through…
- The stigmatization for you and your child
- The looks people give you when in public (Some days you even have to let your child stay indoors throughout).
- The unsolicited recommendation from people, The isolation The constant overwhelming physical tiredness Loss of internal locus of control (locus of control is the degree to which you believe, that you have control over the outcome of events in your life, as opposed to external forces)
- And more.
This is why I want to introduce you to the mind repositioning engagement that has helped me and other special moms, I have recommended this too.
Introducing:
“The CEDE Framework”
My proven one-to-one mind engagement coaching program that’s going to take you from your current (whatever, it is) state to a more resilient, stable, fulfilled mindset to enable you be you in all fullness and subsequently care for your child better — Just like me 6 years ago.
I’m going to walk you through a step-by-step approach:
Clarity
First, I’ll work with you to understand your exact pain point fears.
During our CLARIFY STAGE, we will work together to make more comprehensible, Who you ‘really’ are and what are your pain points now? We will skim off all the debris be-clouded by the issues surrounding your care for your child. where are you now, what do you REALLY want, what are you doing to get there now. What are your pain points.
Then help you regulate your emotions, sustain your self-esteem, and enjoy interpersonal contact with someone in the same shoe. This will help you get psychological liberation, identify your trauma points, and commit to task completion.
Explore
After the clarity session, You would have gained the right mindset to travel through existing but unfamiliar familiar areas of your life, vision, and community. We will search out the purpose for which you were created, we will bring all parts of your life in contact with each other to enable you leverage all your opportunities in the context of your current struggles. This will lead to time saving, re-connection and control.
You’re going to be self-aware and live in the moment of identifying possible caregiving/self improvement/ options while you focus on yourself once again (because you have gone through some form of exploration). Now, you won't be so selfish about investing in yourself. You will be filled with excitement at the options available right under your eyes.
Discover
At this stage, I’ll work with you so you re-discover your strength and purpose, following the exploration stage. We will help you learn, what you have, what you want and what you need. We will collect and analyze information about using the SWOT analysis and other assessment tools.
Now, you’ve accepted your child's situation and you're ready to move on with your life.
Embrace
At this point, you’ll learn to accept your child as a person, not a Psychological Trauma on its own. So you can now feel and see the improvement in your confidence level. Now, you will take a step to live a self-directed life like any other person and strive to reach your full potential against all odds. All excuses will be dropped and it is time to execute that dream of yours willingly and enthusiastically.
At this point, you will stop hiding from, being your normal self, the activities of societal gatherings, and your child.
With this, you will be able to re-establish a support system, because the formation of a supportive relationship is an important antidote in the recovery from your traumatic situation.
Now, let’s be sure this is a good fit for you…
- You are tired of social isolation and you want to explore social events with confidence as well.
- You’re afraid of not having a life outside taking care of your special one.
- You’re so sad that nothing could cheer you up because of this situation.
- You feel the world is against you.
- You feel God has forsaken you or your enemies are haunting you.
As A Mother– Your One Wish Is…
“If Only Your Child Could Communicate To You”.
You Just Want Your Child To Be Okay And Have A Happy Life
Of His/Her Own.
Now, you may not get him/her to talk or act in full participation.
But you can help them have a happy life to an extent.
And here’s how this can happen…
- When you’re always in the right frame of mind.
- When you can deal with your anger and frustration.
- When you have a life outside being a special mom and caregiver.
- When you stay connected socially and associate with loving people.
This makes you happy to attend to your child because you still live a life of your own chasing your dreams.
So right now, there’s no time to continue beating
yourself up… Your next move is what matters.
And with this, I mean…
- How do you manage this special parenting need?…
- How do you accept this and move over because you have a life to live and a child that needs you to be in the right frame of mind?
- How do you relate with other parents and their kids who do not have any disability?
- How do you remain focused on your dream and not allow all your thinking to surround your child's special needs?
- How do you make sure your sanity is a priority?
The above is what I will help you achieve within the 4-week one-to-one session with you.
Tell me - Would you be open to letting me walk you through the CEDE framework?
This is where I’ll work with you using my experience and coaching expertise.
You’re going to have my listening ears for you to pour out your heart.
Then we progress using the CEDE framework.
And I can tell you for a fact that when we are done…
You’d come out strong and ready to explore a whole new world away from the thought of your child’s care and his future without you.
You’d accept his/her present state.
And work towards becoming the best mom to him/her by regaining your confidence…
Becoming more patient and calm in handling your child.
And also pursue other life interests you desire.
Sounds like a good fit?
Ok. Why Should You Listen To Me?
I was in the same lane when it all started.
And I’m still a mother to a special child.
So, let me introduce myself to you…
My name is Stella Okoli, a mother of 3 — two daughters and one son…
Who was diagnosed with Acquired Traumatic Brain Injury, six years ago.
Over the years I have taken training, and other self-development approaches to handle the situation of being a special mom.
And how to maintain the right frame of mind — making me live a purposeful life chasing my happiness as well (and not just living a life that revolves around my child).
This is what I’m happy about and now I have a reason to laugh looking back at when it all started.
Now, I’m not just a victim of this challenge—I’m also a student of Prof. Akin Merino Education Institute, where I have qualified as a Trauma Informed Coach. I studied under Dr Sarah McKay of the Neuroscience Academy on Brain Work and Dr Martin Seligman’s, (University of Pennsylvania) Foundations of Positive Psychology Specialization (Martin E.P Seligman’s Visionary Science, Applications and Interventions, Character, Grit and Research Methods,Resilience Skills . I have trained as a Special Needs Therapist with Mrs Dotun Akande’s St Patrick Speech and Language Academy in collaboration with IBCCES. Before this time, I had a Bachelor of Science in Mass Communication and a Master of Science in Sustainable Development.
I have also recommended these approaches to other moms which have helped them get through with this.
So, I hope that all mothers experiencing similar challenges can benefit from this also and live a better life chasing their dreams as well.
Now, I’m on a journey to help them do the same.
Here’s How We Can Work Together In This Rediscovery And Journey To Repositioning Your Mind
To be a part of this one-to-one session for the next 4-week, you’ll have to make a little commitment.
Now, this is to be sure that you’re willing to take the bold step and reposition your mind as a special mom.
So to help you commit to this experience, here’s how you can be a part of this engagement by working with me.
Therefore, you’ll make a little commitment of $300.
Wait! …
Let’s look at this…
If I’d have individual sessions with you…
Help you gain clarity …
Help you reposition your mind and take up a fulfilled life — even as a special mom.
And after all this, you are able to have a positive mind. Start living a purposeful life even as a special mom.
Tell me—would it be worth your $300?
Ok. Let’s say you answered NO.
I want you to know I easily charge up to 5X this if I’m to do a special consultation.
But this time, I am on a course to help women with this globally.
So you see — the commitment fee is fair considering all locations.
Now, if you’re that struggling mom—
- Who wants to learn from someone in the same shoes.
- Who wants a lead on how to go through the demands of being a special mom.
- Who wants to be directed on how to reposition her mind and not get stuck on caring for her child only.
- Who desires to chase her dreams even when faced with this challenge.
Then sign up for this session by a click on the button below.
I Have Also Added These BONUSES
Bonus #1
Short webinars that “guide you to become better in managing yourself”. [Value $100
Bonus #2
Call days on FB live where you can ask me any question that bothers you. [Value $100]
Bonus #3
I’ll also direct you to some strength-based assessments. [Value $55]
Now, this is going to be a whole new dawn with all these and the good news is — you get all these bonuses for FREE.
Here’s What Other Mothers Like You Are Saying
Sincerely,
Stella Okoli.
FAQs
This will be a virtual coaching and engagement session on agreed time intervals for 4 weeks.
Yes, this engagement works for all special moms looking at living a purposeful life and regaining their peace.
No matter the age of your child.
Yes, dear. You sure deserve a life of your own. And this engagement can help you explore and discover how to go about this.